Saturday, February 05, 2011

The Skinny on Skinny Jeans, or Do These Pants Make Me Look Fat?

To start off, really quickly, the second title is more of a rhetorical question, as in, I don't actually want you to tell me how they make me look.

Skinny Jeans, huh... What happened?! It was not that long ago that I was laughing at pictures of the people who were fashionable in the 80's with their skinny jeans and belted t-shirts and bright blue eye-liner. "I don't care how good you look, these pants do NOTHING for anyone!" I remember saying to some friends. And then a few years back, I started seeing a pair here and there, and I thought, "Weirdos. Don't they know those pants look ridiculous?" And press forward to the present and everyone, as in short, tall, fat, and thin is wearing them. And I have a pair. I officially took off the tags yesterday and wore them. Non-returnable. Mine.

But, I am not going to lie. I have my doubts. Do they really look good? And I don't just mean on me, but on anyone? After I bought my pair, I tried them on for Dallas and he said, "Those pants are in STYLE?!" And yesterday, while I was breaking in those bad boys, I asked again, thinking maybe he was getting used to them, and he said, "Not really my taste." Case closed. My husband doesn't like them. (Not that I really trust his taste in fashion, but...)

I have two issues with Skinny Jeans with me in particular. A. I think they make my hips look big. B. I think they make me look shorter than I am.

A. Maybe they make my hips look big because I have big hips, which I do, and which I am thankful for, since I have successfully and relatively easily birthed 5 babies. But do I want to wear pants that emphasize something, however beneficial it may be in childbirth, that isn't necessarily a mark of beauty? Dallas has agreed the pants would look better with some boots or something to ofset the top-heaviness.

B. I am short. Maybe all my pants make me look short. Maybe I haven't studied myself in my other pants as much as these skinny jeans, so maybe there is nothing to this. But I swear, the severity of those tapered hems seem to make me look (feel?) like a small person. As in midget. (No offense to small people. In fact, I saw the cutest little old lady pushing one of those carts meant for kids. She made me smile.)

So those are my beefs. But, I did take off the tags. (It helps that they were on clearance and ended up only being $7.) To be honest, I am keeping them because I know they are in style. Mostly I just want to fit in. Welcome back to Middle School.

In reference to the pictures: Wow, I can jump really high! And, I learned something about myself. I am sticking my thumbs out in every shot. That is just awkward.

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Laura said...

Nothing could make you look fat, Emily, because you are not fat. I do think that your legs do look a little shorter in the photos than in real life, but that could just be the pictures. I think that bootcut jeans would balance your hips better, but I wouldn't worry too much about your hips. They are well within the realm of normal. You look beautiful and it doesn't really matter what kind of jeans you're wearing.

Heaton said...

That's funny. But to make you feel better, Mom and I both have a pair as well. I really like wearing them with boots since they don't scrunch up. I do feel a little self-conscious wearing them with no shoes since I think they probably look a little funny since I remember having a pair of skinny jeans when I was little and always telling my mother I would never again have a pair since I absolutely hated them. So much for that.

Jen said...

Wear them with heels and they'll make you look tall.

Laurie said...

There are reasons things go "out" of style. I have yet to conform to skinny jeans. I have well endowed squishy butt/thighs that need to stay hidden and NOT accentuated by trying to make my legs look like pencils. I don't need to look like an orange on toothpicks...which is most likely what I would look like. But good for you. I just don't EVER want to feel like JR again. I wont even buy them for Millie. We'll see how long it takes for me to conform, hopefully I will never give into the "camel toe" if you know what I mean. Emily, you are brave! Love ya, Laurie

Kristen said...

Just for the record, I think not only can you jump ridiculously high but you also look ridiculously good in skinny jeans!As for big hips, I can assure you that yours are not. I have the exact same concerns when wearing skinny jeans though. I feel shorter and wider which is why I always wear them with tall boots. The combination even won my husband over. Although I don't have a lot of faith in his fashion judgment either since once I tried on capris and asked what he thought. He said they seemed a little short. He thought they were just really short pants! I almost died laughing and hence, do not ask his advice on my clothing any more :)

Maegen said...

I think if anyone is going to look good in skinny jeans it's probably limited to you, and maybe my sister-in-law Rachel. Nathan HATES Rachel's skinny jeans, and that is one of many reasons I will never own a pair of skinny jeans. I remember hating skinny jeans as a child, because they felt yucky being all tight around my ankles like that. Being as picky with the way my clothes feel as I am, there are a few fashion trends I will never take part in. One being those huge belts you wear over your shirts. Which brings me to a recollection from when we went to Lagoon last summer. We saw a girl wearing these black pinstripe skinny jeans that went-- I kid you not-- all the way up to her ribcage! They were held up by these weird suspender things which just made the whole thing worse, and we couldn't help but wonder who would wear pants like that (and 3 inch stiletto heels) to an amusement park???

Anonymous said...

those look too big to be "skinny" jeans. skinnies are practically as tight as spandex. they can also be called "jeggings." the ones you are wearing look more relaxed fit with straight legs. nothing wrong with that, just try out some really skinnies, they will make you feel sexy.

Halsey said...

Nothing wrong with skinny jeans. I had a prejudice once, about four years ago, and now I own two pair. I swore I'd never own a pair, but then I nursed my baby until I was a complete twig and figured I ought to take advantage of the trend while it looked good on me. Haha!